Social Life & Friends
Every couple contains at least one person who wants to leave the party earlier than the other.
Social questions look light and are quietly structural. How often you go out, whether you go out separately, how much you enjoy each other's friends, and whether either of you is different in a group than alone together. That last one is the sharp one — a lot of people find their partner slightly unrecognisable in company and have never found a kind way to say so.
There is also the friend nobody mentions: most couples have one person in their life the other would rather they saw less of. Raising it directly costs something, because it sounds like an attempt to pick their friends. Answering it separately does not.
These questions cover the practical rhythm — nights out, hosting, plans made without checking — and the underlying preference, which is how much of your social life you actually want to be joint. Two people can want very different amounts of that and still work, provided neither has assumed the other agrees.
8 questions about social life & friends
A sample from the 51 in this category.
- Go to a party where you only know your partner?
- Cancel plans to stay in together?
- See each other's friends without the other there?
- Host people at home rather than going out?
- Leave a social event early because your partner wants to?
- Go on holiday separately with your own friends?
- How often would you like to go out together?
- How comfortable are you in your partner's social circle?
Is it a problem if one of us is much more social?
Not inherently. It becomes one when the quieter person feels dragged along and the more social one feels held back, both silently. Stating the preference is usually enough to start splitting some evenings.
Does this ask about friends we disagree on?
It asks whether there is someone you would rather they saw less of. It does not ask you to name them, and the answer is only shown if you both gave it.
How is this different from the independence questions?
This is about shared social life and other people; independence is about time alone and autonomy. They overlap, and couples often score very differently on the two.
Two phones, no account. Nothing is shown until you have both finished, and only the answers you both gave are revealed.