Values & Beliefs
Couples tend to establish early that they broadly agree on the big things, and then never test what "broadly" was covering.
Religion, politics and ethics get an early conversation that establishes compatibility in general terms, and the specifics are left alone because the general answer was reassuring. The specifics are where it actually matters: not whether you are both religious, but whether children would be raised in it; not whether you vote similarly, but whether either of you could be with someone who did not.
These questions go after the applied version. What you would do about a friend behaving badly. Whether honesty or kindness wins when they conflict. What you would teach a child that your own parents got wrong. Values only become visible in cases, which is why the questions are cases rather than labels.
Disagreement here is not necessarily a problem — plenty of durable couples differ substantially on politics — but undiscovered disagreement is, because it surfaces at the worst possible moment, usually attached to a decision that has to be made now.
8 questions about values & beliefs
A sample from the 48 in this category.
- Talk about politics with your partner?
- Share the same views on religion or faith?
- Give to causes you believe in?
- Think honesty matters more than kindness when they conflict?
- Change a long-held view because of your partner?
- How important is it to share the same core values?
- How comfortable are you disagreeing with your partner about something that matters?
- Who taught you the most about how to treat people?
Can a couple with different politics do well on this?
Frequently. What matters more than agreeing is whether each of you knew the other's position and how much weight you put on the difference — and those two things are what the comparison actually shows.
Does this ask about religion directly?
It asks about practice, upbringing and what you would want for children rather than about belief in the abstract, because the applied questions are the ones couples actually have to resolve.
What if we have never discussed any of this?
Then this is the highest-value category on the site for you. Answering separately means neither of you has to be the one who raised it.
Two phones, no account. Nothing is shown until you have both finished, and only the answers you both gave are revealed.