Emotional Closeness
Feeling close is not the same as spending time together, and the gap between those two is where a lot of quietly unhappy relationships sit.
You can share a flat, a bed and a calendar with someone and still not know what they are worried about this month. The usual reason is not secrecy. It is that the moment to say it never quite arrives, and after a while not saying it becomes the normal state rather than a decision.
These questions are about how much of your interior life actually reaches the other person: whether you say when something is bothering you, whether you would admit to being lonely inside the relationship, whether you go to them first with bad news or to somebody else. That last one is more revealing than it sounds.
There is no score here that means a healthy relationship. Some people are simply more private, and two private people can be extremely close. What matters is whether you both want the same amount of access, and that is a question almost nobody asks directly.
8 questions about emotional closeness
A sample from the 54 in this category.
- Tell your partner when you have had a bad day rather than brushing it off?
- Cry in front of your partner?
- Share something you are worried about before you have solved it?
- Ask your partner how they are actually doing, and wait for the real answer?
- Say when you are feeling distant from each other?
- Talk about your childhood with your partner?
- Let your partner see you when you are not coping?
- How often do you feel properly known by your partner?
What if one of us is naturally much more private?
That is common and it is not a problem by itself. It becomes one when the more open person reads privacy as distance, or the more private person reads questions as pressure. Seeing the difference stated plainly is usually enough to stop both readings.
Does a low score here mean the relationship is in trouble?
No. It means you two currently share less than average, which may be exactly what you both want. The number worth paying attention to is the gap between your answers, not the height of either one.
Can we answer these if we are long distance?
Yes, and this is the category long-distance couples get the most from — you already do the talking part deliberately rather than in passing, so a written answer is closer to how you communicate anyway.
Two phones, no account. Nothing is shown until you have both finished, and only the answers you both gave are revealed.