Trust, Boundaries & Jealousy
Trust questions are the ones people most want answered and least want to ask, because asking is itself a small accusation.
Would you look at their phone if it were unlocked. Do they know your passcode. Is there an ex you would not mention meeting for coffee. Each of those is a normal thing to have a position on, and almost impossible to raise casually — the question arrives sounding like it is being asked for a reason.
Answering separately removes the accusation. Nobody is being confronted, because nobody knows what the other said yet, and if you both turn out to be relaxed about phones then it was never a conversation that needed having. If you are not, you have found that out without either of you having to be the one who brought it up.
The privacy rule matters more in this category than anywhere else on the site: an answer only one of you gave is never shown. You can be honest about a boundary here without it becoming an admission.
8 questions about trust, boundaries & jealousy
A sample from the 46 in this category.
- Leave your phone unlocked around your partner?
- Tell your partner when an ex gets in touch?
- Go out one-to-one with a friend your partner has never met?
- Share passwords for shared accounts?
- Say where you are going without being asked?
- Keep some friendships entirely separate from the relationship?
- How important is it to know roughly where your partner is?
- How comfortable are you with your partner having close friends you do not know?
Will answering these make my partner suspicious?
The questions are the same for everyone and neither of you chooses them, so answering is not a signal about your relationship. That is precisely why a fixed set works better than raising it yourself.
What happens to an answer only I gave?
Nothing. It is not shown to them, not included in the report, and not counted anywhere they can see. The report also never reveals how many answers were withheld.
Is checking a partner's phone a red flag?
We do not tell you that, and would be wrong to. Couples differ enormously on this and plenty of secure relationships have open phones. What matters is whether you agree, which is what the comparison shows you.
Two phones, no account. Nothing is shown until you have both finished, and only the answers you both gave are revealed.