Money & Finances
Money is the subject couples argue about most and disclose about least, and the second fact is what causes the first.
Two people can share expenses for years without either knowing what the other earns, what they owe, or what they consider a normal amount to spend without mentioning it. The threshold question is the sharp one: there is a number above which you would tell your partner before buying something, and you have almost certainly never compared it. When one of you thinks it is fifty and the other thinks it is five hundred, every third purchase is a small betrayal to somebody.
These questions cover the practical splits — who pays for what, whether accounts are joint, how debt is handled — and the ones underneath: whether you would admit to a purchase you regretted, whether either of you has money the other does not know about, and what you each think the other earns.
Answering apart is what makes this survivable. Said aloud, a number sounds like a demand. Written down and compared, it is just a number, and the difference between your two numbers is the actual conversation.
8 questions about money & finances
A sample from the 51 in this category.
- Talk about money openly with your partner?
- Split costs evenly rather than by income?
- Have one shared account for everything?
- Check with your partner before a large purchase?
- Keep some money entirely your own?
- Set a budget together and stick to it?
- When it comes to spending, which are you?
- How important is it to save rather than spend on experiences now?
Do we have to reveal how much we earn?
No. The questions are about attitudes, thresholds and habits rather than your balance. Nothing asks for a figure from your account, and nothing is shown unless you both answered it.
We keep separate finances. Is this still relevant?
Yes, and often more so. Separate finances remove the daily friction that would otherwise surface a mismatch, so couples who split everything tend to discover the disagreement much later, usually at a large purchase.
What is the most common thing couples disagree on here?
The disclosure threshold — the amount above which you would mention a purchase beforehand. It is rarely discussed and the two answers are rarely close.
Two phones, no account. Nothing is shown until you have both finished, and only the answers you both gave are revealed.