Future & Life Goals
The future is the category where couples most often assume agreement they have never actually confirmed.
Whether there are children, and how many, and when. Whether you stay in this city. Whether one of you expects to be married in two years and the other has not thought about it. These get decided by drift far more often than by discussion — a plan nobody stated becomes the plan because neither of you objected to something that was never proposed.
The awkwardness is that raising any of it sounds like an ultimatum. Asking about timelines reads as pressure; asking about children reads as a demand for an answer today. So the conversation waits, and the assumption hardens, and it surfaces years later as a much worse conversation.
A fixed set of questions answered separately takes the demand out of it. You are not asking them to commit to anything. You are both answering the same list, at the same time, and finding out whether the plan you each thought existed is the same plan.
8 questions about future & life goals
A sample from the 51 in this category.
- Talk about where you both want to be in five years?
- Move city for your partner's career?
- Want to get married eventually?
- Want children at some point?
- Buy a home together rather than rent?
- Live abroad for a while?
- How important is it to have a clear timeline for big steps?
- When it comes to the next few years, which are you?
Is this too heavy for a newer relationship?
It is usually less heavy early than late. Two years in, the same question carries the weight of two years of assumption; six months in, it is genuinely just a question.
What if we want different things?
Then you know now rather than later, which is the only version of that discovery anyone benefits from. Plenty of differences here are timing rather than direction, and timing is negotiable in a way that direction is not.
Does this ask whether we want children?
It asks about it, along with timelines, location and marriage. You can skip any question, and a question only one of you answered is never revealed.
Two phones, no account. Nothing is shown until you have both finished, and only the answers you both gave are revealed.