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Questions to ask your partner

One question at a time, in a deliberate order. It opens with things that are easy to say out loud, and by the last third it is asking for things most couples have never quite got round to saying.

Take turns. Both of you answer every question before moving on, and whoever answers second should try not to simply agree with the first.

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Forty questions, in order

The whole set, if you would rather read it than be dealt it.

1. 01What was the best part of your week?
2. 02What is something small that made you happy recently?
3. 03What is the last thing that made you properly laugh?
4. 04What did you want to be when you were ten?
5. 05What is something you are looking forward to?
6. 06What is a thing you can do that most people cannot?
7. 07What is the best advice you have been given?
8. 08What is something you have changed your mind about this year?
9. 09What would you do with a completely free week?
10. 10What is a place you want to show me?
11. 11What is something you own that has a story?
12. 12Who is the most interesting person you know?
13. 13What are you better at than you were a year ago?
14. 14What is taking most of your energy at the moment?
15. 15What do you think you are underrated at?
16. 16What is a risk you are glad you took?
17. 17What is one you avoided and still think about?
18. 18What do you think people misread about you?
19. 19What did you need at fifteen that you did not get?
20. 20Which parent are you more like, and how do you feel about that?
21. 21What is a compliment you do not believe when you hear it?
22. 22What is one you do believe?
23. 23What is something you are working on about yourself?
24. 24What is something you have decided not to change?
25. 25What did you first notice about me?
26. 26When did you know?
27. 27What do I do that makes you feel looked after?
28. 28What do I do that makes you feel unseen?
29. 29When did you last feel really close to me?
30. 30What have you stopped telling me, and why?
31. 31What is something you want from me that you have never directly asked for?
32. 32What do you think I get wrong about you?
33. 33Is there anything you have forgiven me for that I do not know about?
34. 34What do you think I need that I do not ask for?
35. 35What do you want from the next ten years that you have not said out loud?
36. 36What would you change about how we spend our time?
37. 37What do you miss about how we were earlier?
38. 38What is better now than it was then?
39. 39What do you think we both avoid talking about?
40. 40What have you been waiting for me to ask?

That last question is the one worth coming back to. Most people have an answer, and most people have never been asked.

Prefer paper? Download all forty as a printable PDF — free, no email needed.

More lists: deep questions, would you rather, or browse by topic.