Relationship Maturity

The Couples Quiz: 100 Questions and How to Score It

9 September 2026 · 9 min read

Most things called a couples quiz are a list of questions with no scoring attached, which makes them a conversation prompt wearing a quiz's clothes. That is fine, but it is not a quiz, and the difference matters: a quiz produces a number you can compare, disagree with, and retake later.

This one is scored, and the scoring is the part worth paying attention to. A percentage on its own is close to meaningless — what tells you something is where the agreement is, and whether the gap between your two totals is large.

How to run it

Answer separately. This is not optional and it is the single thing that determines whether the result means anything. Two people answering in the same room produce a document about what they are willing to say in front of each other, which is a different and much less interesting thing.

Answer fast. First instinct. A question you deliberate over for a minute gets the answer you think you should give.

Score at the end, once. Not question by question. Running commentary turns it into a negotiation.

Skip anything you do not want to answer and note that you skipped it. A skipped question is data too — three skips in the same section says something.

Scoring

Each question is answered Yes / Mostly / Sometimes / No.

You are not scoring whether the answers are good. You are scoring whether they match.

• Identical answers: 2 points
• One step apart (Yes/Mostly, Mostly/Sometimes, Sometimes/No): 1 point
• Two or more steps apart: 0 points

Maximum is 200. Divide by two for a percentage.

Also count, separately, the number of questions where you were two or more steps apart. That count matters more than the total, and it is the thing to actually talk about.

Section 1 — Communication (20 questions)

1. We say what is bothering us the same day it happens.
2. I know when they are upset before they tell me.
3. Arguments here stay about the thing they started about.
4. One of us reliably moves first afterwards.
5. An apology in this relationship is said out loud.
6. I can raise a difficult subject without planning it for days.
7. Going quiet is used to withdraw rather than to think.
8. We interrupt each other more than we should.
9. Hard conversations get postponed to a better moment that never comes.
10. I would tell them if something they did hurt me.
11. I have stopped mentioning something because of how it went last time.
12. We can disagree without either of us raising our voice.
13. We repeat the same argument.
14. When they are upset, I know whether to ask or leave it.
15. I am honest about how my day actually was.
16. There is a subject I avoid.
17. We talk about things that are not logistics.
18. I feel listened to.
19. I listen properly rather than waiting to speak.
20. Nothing important is currently unsaid.

Section 2 — Money (15 questions)

21. We both know roughly what the other earns.
22. There is an amount above which I would mention a purchase first.
23. We would name the same amount.
24. I know what our fixed monthly costs are.
25. Money is a subject we can raise calmly.
26. Neither of us has money the other does not know about.
27. We agree on how much should be saved.
28. We split things in a way that feels fair to both.
29. I have bought something and not mentioned it.
30. We would agree on what counts as an extravagance.
31. Debt is discussed openly here.
32. We would handle a sudden loss of income the same way.
33. I know their attitude to lending money to family.
34. Neither of us feels controlled financially.
35. Money has not caused a serious argument in the last year.

Section 3 — Trust and boundaries (15 questions)

36. I would be comfortable if they looked at my phone.
37. They know my passcode.
38. There is nobody in their life I feel uncertain about.
39. There is nobody in mine they would feel uncertain about.
40. We would define cheating the same way.
41. I would tell them if I found someone attractive.
42. I would want to know if they did.
43. Nothing is currently being kept from me.
44. I am not keeping anything from them.
45. Jealousy is not a recurring problem here.
46. We agree on how much privacy is normal.
47. I would tell them about a message that made me uncomfortable.
48. Neither of us checks up on the other.
49. Trust here was earned rather than assumed.
50. If trust were broken, we would say so rather than manage it quietly.

Section 4 — Daily life (15 questions)

51. We agree on what "tidy" means.
52. The division of chores is fair.
53. We would both say the same person does more.
54. Our sleep schedules work together.
55. We agree on how much time we should spend together at home.
56. Small annoyances get mentioned rather than accumulated.
57. Neither of us is chronically late in a way that matters.
58. We agree on how much noise, mess and chaos is acceptable.
59. Guests and visitors are handled the same way by both of us.
60. Weekends look like something we both chose.
61. We eat together most days.
62. Phones are not a problem in this house.
63. Neither of us feels like the household manager.
64. We would describe our routine the same way.
65. Living together is easier than either of us expected.

Section 5 — Closeness and affection (15 questions)

66. I feel known by them.
67. They know what is worrying me this month.
68. I go to them first with bad news.
69. Affection here happens without an occasion.
70. We say the thing rather than assume it is understood.
71. I feel wanted.
72. I think they feel wanted.
73. Physical affection is not only a prelude to something else.
74. We agree on how much of it we want.
75. Neither of us has stopped initiating.
76. I could say I was lonely here without it becoming an argument.
77. Compliments are given and received easily.
78. We laugh together most days.
79. I would describe us as close right now.
80. I would have said the same a year ago.

Section 6 — Future (10 questions)

81. We want the same things about children.
82. We agree on roughly when.
83. We agree on where we want to live.
84. We agree on marriage, whichever way.
85. We have discussed these rather than assumed them.
86. Our career plans are compatible.
87. Neither of us feels held back.
88. There is no decision we are both avoiding.
89. We would describe our plan the same way.
90. I am confident about the next five years.

Section 7 — The honest ten

91. I am completely honest with them.
92. They are completely honest with me.
93. I have never felt lonely inside this relationship.
94. I have not seriously considered leaving.
95. I would tell them if I had.
96. There is nothing I am waiting for the right moment to say.
97. I would answer every question above the same way if they could see it.
98. I think they would too.
99. We are better than we were a year ago.
100. I would choose this again.

Reading the result

Above 80% — high agreement. Worth checking that both of you answered honestly rather than generously; a very high score with several skipped questions usually means one of you was being kind.

60 to 80% — normal for a functioning couple. The total is not the finding. The two-step gaps are.

Below 60% — you disagree about the state of the relationship, which is different from having a bad one. It is common at transitions: a new baby, a move, a hard year at work.

And the number that matters more than the percentage: how far apart your two totals are. If one of you scored 85 and the other 55, you are not in disagreement about facts — you are having quite different experiences of the same relationship, and that is the conversation.

The limits of this

It is not a diagnosis, not a prediction, and not a clinical instrument. It is a structured way to find out where two people's accounts differ, which is useful precisely because it is so hard to do in conversation.

The section that produces the most two-step gaps is almost always Communication, and the reason is worth knowing: it is the only section where both people are describing the same events from different sides. Money and Future are about positions, which can genuinely differ. Communication is about what happened, which cannot — so a gap there means one of you is not seeing something.

If you would rather skip the arithmetic, PairReveal runs this structure for you and does the scoring itself. Play it free — the score arrives before any payment page does.